11/22-11/26 Fear Builds Walls

The expression “fear builds walls” can have many meanings. A wall usually means that, that person distrusts you. Of course distrust means fear. In forts and such, they will usually build a wall to protect themselves against these enemies that they have.  A person does not literally build a wall around them, but simply keeps others from getting close to their heart. There is another expression that is “trust builds bridges”. A bridge makes it easier to get places does it not? Well a bridge is pretty much the same as a person trusting you and opening up to you.  A bridge is pretty much the opposite of the wall. Those who often build walls out of fear mean they are very had to get close to. Hopefully soon they will learn to mend their broken hearts so they may open up to people once again. In other words even if the person does not open up to you right away, that doesn’t mean you should give up. Healing takes time. You should trust me on these things because I used to build walls too.  Fortunately for me and my friends, I learned how to turn those walls into bridges to let those people in. Right now I am focusing on teaching other how to do this. It really helps to connect to people who have gone through the same things. As long as you are going through it, there is someone else in the world with the exact same problem. You are never truly alone to why build a bridge so you feel like you are?

11/22-11/26 Top Ten of Nate Zobreast

10.) His hair used to be red

9.) His hair is now bleach blonde

8.) His voice has a very deep tone

7.) He stoops his height so his head won’t scrape against the ceiling

6.) He likes music

5.) He sits next to Pinky

4.) He is currently in a love triangle between Markus and Mono Herter

3.) He plays some sort of sport

2.) He may read this and find 3 rhymes

1.) His name is Nate Zobreast

I Am Thankful 11/15-11/19

In this world there are few things I am thankful for. After my grandpa died I thought about how long I would be around.  I never knew I was going to be around this long. To be honest I thought I was going to die before seventh grade. I had a depression so bad it nearly killed me. I used to cry myself to sleep every night, smothering my tears into my pillow. I did things that I know I couldn’t do now. You could tell me I was the most amazing person you have ever met and I would just brush it off as if you were lying to me.  I was so deep into that dark place where I felt nobody cared, nobody would notice I was gone. The only thing that actually kept me from taking my own life was probably my friends. I knew those few would be the ones missing me. No one really knew I was doing this to myself because I would go to school, I would hold this fake smile on my face to mask all my pain. To this day neither of my parents has any idea what I did to myself, any of it. Without my friends I would not be here. I would not be the person I am today. It’s still hard for me to discuss what I went through but I am getting better at knowing who I am and what my goal is in life. Since then I have made so much progress, it’s crazy. I’m confident, I’m happy. I just had to know that I was amazing just the way I was. My friends helped me know that. This thanksgiving I am thankful for having a chance to be here. I am also thankful for those people who care most about me, who were there for me in my time of need.

11/15-11/19 Win?

Ah, the subject of winning. Something I haven’t truly experienced but know enough about to explain it a toddler. Can you taste the sarcasm?  If you lose, you say “It’s alright, it’s just a game no big deal.” Though when you win it’s a totally different story. When you win you do everything in your power to shove it in the loser’s face. You gotta love bragging rights. But to me there really isn’t any winning or losing in life. You make mistakes, we all do, and you move on. It’s simple as that.  Nothing is really fair life is never fair and neither is karma when you think about it. Life and karma really isn’t unfair either though. Things are just the way they are. We may try and change some of the way things are, and some of us may succeed a little, but there will always be that thing you will never be able to change. You can’t drive a car drunk safely. You can’t completely express your opinion without hurting or angering someone else. You can’t come up with an idea without knowing for sure that someone else hasn’t thought about it too. You can’t sit there and think that someone hasn’t gone through the same things as you. We are a blink of an eye for our entire existence. Why think about winning and losing and what’s fair and unfair when you really have a life to live. It’s honestly a waste of time. Next time when your gloating about winning or all gloomy about losing, just think, you have better things to do.

How I Feel About Christmas 11/15-11/19

I am not a normal kid who just cannot wait for Christmas to come around. In fact I am not that much of a fan of Christmas. To be quite clear my favorite holiday is Halloween. I like all the scary scenery and the way the night air feels on my skin. Its chilly but not to the point where you have to sick your hands in your pockets to keep your fingers from falling off from frost bite. God I hate what that happens. Also all the scary movie marathons and free candy, you can’t deny it’s the best holiday ever invented by the Celtic people. I’m not a big fan of Christmas for many reasons. One, I’ve out grown Santa. Plus the “magic” that was once there for me turned to lies from my parents so wouldn’t grow up to fast. There’s also having to buy the presents and having no idea what to get. I really hate the fact that Christmas comes out a month early every year. The Christmas specials, let’s be frank, we’ve all watched them billions of times, and I hope I’m not the only one when I say I’m sick of it before it starts. I usually drown myself in eggnog during the holidays. The only possible reason I could be excited for Christmas this year is probably because I’ll get to see my Poppi and step family. Other than that, total bum out. Although Halloween, that is a true night of excitement and adventure with no end to possibilities. You can trick or treat . . . or both. But the rules don’t say how! I hope you can now understand how I feel about Christmas and definitely how I feel about Halloween, also known as, the greatest holiday known to man.

11/8-11/12 Captian Howdy-Favorite Quotes

“Behold as you pass by,

As you are now I once was,

As you are now so you bust be,

Prepare for death and fallow me.”

-Unknown

“We may forget what is in our minds but we’ll never forget what is out hearts.”

-Unknown

“There is no crying. You are not a child. You lost your childhood when you knew you were going to die.”

-Strangeland, “Captain Howdy”

I really like all these quotes because they really inspire me to cherish my teenage years and really love my life.  They may seem a little scary to you but they’re a lot better than the mushy gushy ones people usually pick out. Gross. The first quote came from a grave stone somewhere in cowsvill. I don’t know very much about it because I heard out this quote in American History class. It’s basically that person calling out to whoever is passing by their grave to say “Hey I existed! Remember this and know it was me.” All each of really want in life is to be remembered, we live on through others memories. The second quote I also got from American History class. It’s pretty much the same concept, except that it’s not talking about memory. It’s more a lot the lines of if you knew that person and took them into their heart; it’s not going to be easy to forget them. So that’s kind of a goal for me. I want to be remembered we all do. The third and final quote is more about cherishing the time you have. Our lives go by so fast and we have to spend that time with people who are valuable to us.

Lunch Trio 11/8-11/12

Of all the people I could have lunch with, there are three people I would enjoy it with the most. One of those people would have to be my Grandpa Whelchel. He died when I was about ten or eleven, and I moved out of Colorado when I was seven. So I wasn’t really able to get to know him too well.  From what I knew, he was an artist and very kind. Just to be able to hug him one more time would be enough for me. I fear that the memories I have of him have grown fuzzy. If I could only have lunch with one person, it would definitely be him.

The send person I would be delighted to have lunch with would most likely be an old friend of mine named Travis. He was a very good friend of mine back in the day when I was about fourteen going on fifteen. He had to be about nineteen and was really a big brother to me. He would joke around with me and give me advice about boys and such. He was always smiling and he always seemed to have a bounce in his step. Then I just stopped hearing from him, I lost all communication with him until about two months later. One of the people who were really close to him posted something on MySpace. It said that something happened to make him shut off all contact to the outside world. He just shut down and didn’t let anyone into the house and you wouldn’t set a foot outside at all. Soon after he got extremely depressed and eventually decided to end himself. I never got the chance to say goodbye. I just wish I could have lunch with him, back with the old Travis I once knew.

The final person I would probably want to have lunch with is Billie Joe Armstrong. He’s in a band called Green Day. He has been my idol since I was in fifth grade. Not only is he gorgeous, but he makes really inspire music. MY favorite album of all time would have to be “Nimrod”. They inspire me to be better, better at being myself and better at expressing myself. I probably talk a lot about his music but I think it would be an honor or a privilege to get to know that real Billie Joe. Perhaps if this really did happen I would get a wicked sweet autograph from him also.

11/8-11/12 a sarcastic outlook on my thanksgiving

Every Thanksgiving I remember has always been the same. I don’t really remember the thanksgivings I had with my Dad’s side of the family because I was extremely young and I moved out of Colorado when I was seven and a half. In any case my thanksgivings are like any other families. My ma’s side of the family would either have dinner at my house, my Aunt Cindy and Uncle Paul or my Uncle Terry and Aunt Lynn.  Before everyone gets there I help prep, watch the Macy’s Day Parade, and possibly chill out in my fuzzy pajamas. When the family finally starts filling in I run up stairs and put something actually presentable. I don’t often socialize with my cousins because we really have nothing in common.  The only cousins I really talk to is probably Timmy, Eric and Julia. They’re the youngest except for me. Everyone else is either married or my sibling. It gets awkward, so I just find a nice seat and doodle for 3 hours, or until it’s time to eat.  Everyone on my mom’s side of the family is catholic so we can’t really talk about anything real in life. It’s always, how’s school, how’s your life, are you eating right, are you going to church every Sunday? It gets old. I try to give the simplest answer possible.  After everyone is done eating usually there’s dishes and doggie bags for the ride home. Pretty much after that everyone passes out from the all mighty turkey or goes home. So pretty much every Thanksgiving is awkward, same as always. So this Thanksgiving I’m thankful for not having to see my catholic half of the family as much as I’d really love to.

11/1-11/5 Poppi

What is respect? It’s something that comes in all shapes and sizes. It’s not the easiest thing to determine. You don’t have to like that person, and it doesn’t have to be a person you know in person. There’s one person I would say I definitely respect though. Scott Douglas Whelchel, my father. I didn’t used to know him to well because he worked all the time, and when he was home, either I wasn’t or I was doing something else. He’s a very fun guy once I got to know him, and very protective. Although, that is not the reason why I respect him. Since my ma and him agreed to get a divorce, my ma has been a stubborn mule. She refuses to believe that he’s changed. Happiness changes people, I’ve seen it myself. Still my ma was extremely rude to him, even though he went out of his way to be nice to her. He didn’t want the divorce to be like a Hollywood drama. He didn’t want me to be taken away from my ma, he wanted to have split custody so neither one of them would have to go to court or have to pay alimony. He never did anything to her to deserve the treatment my mother gave him. He still has to put up with that. I respect that. I could never put up with my ma as long as he as. Then again he’s had to put up with her for about fifteen years. He is a trooper, I can barely put up with her for a day! It just shows he’s a lot stronger than I am. That is why I respect him.

Youtube dream job 11/1-11/5

 Of all the things I could possibly be I think making music videos has to be the best thing for me. When I listen to music I personalize it and make it my own. I have these pictures of my head of what it would be like. I could listen to virtually come up with anything that would pop up in that particular video. It started when I was in seventh grade I used to come up with little dance moves for the songs I listen to. After that I started looking at sceneries and what the person would look like or what he or she would be doing. If I wanted to get started on this I would need some willing friends and a camera. I would probably start out on Youtube or something that relate to that. Youtube is the best option because I can get critiqued on my work and learn new things from other users. There are so many people on there already that I envy for being able to do this sort of thing. I probably work the best with alternative bands such as My Chemical Romance, Green Day, and other bands and or songs that have a lot of meaning to me. I might see another person’s music video and get inspired to do my own version of that particular work. There are so many ways I could do these things I’ve got so many ideas I could use for these projects, it’s crazy! I’m just excited to get a camcorder and get started on this work!